【轻阅读，看世界】What’s the hardest part about marriage that no one ever talks about?

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多一种语言，多一个纬度，多一段故事。

I am not sure if no one has noticed this yet, but I feel this a lot.

The most difficult thing about marriage for me is lack of space for disconnection. Let me explain my scenario. We have been married for more than 6 years now and we have known each other for about 12 years. During courtship , we were either in different places/accommodations, or cities or even different countries. We argue a lot, especially because both of us are headstrong people and I am an opinionated person holding my principles in high regard, something he does not approve of.

During courtship, an argument, a discussion or fight would ending up in disconnecting the phone or video call. The patch up would take a few hours giving us a lot of time to think in peace and also forgetting the issue sometimes. I remember sending him long emails over our issues…oh my God, I had so many checklists back then.

But now, any argument that we have is either left unresolved as we want to end the discussion or the argument is given a twisted turn.. it is funny in a way I really want to have a confrontation to let go of things and when I don’t do that, he comes to overpower me..I mean hug me and sort out.. He usually comes and tries to fix things..but what I miss is the “space” that I could have to think in peace. Come to think of it, I sleep with my enemy (in a funny way), so where is the space to cool myself..I see him all day, so I cannot switch my system off..

This, my friend, is the difficult part of marriage.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am happily married to this mad man whom I can completely trust and who dotes on me like no other.

This is a picture of happy times

One reason that we usually end up discussions in a huff is because we have smarty pants 4 year old kid, who is all judgemental on how his father treats his mother. I usually shut up so that we do not end up saying things that may affect him.

Here is another one with him.

Marriage, relationship, being single…everything has its perks and everything comes with a price. One must learn to make peace with whatever situation one is in (generally speaking).

Enjoy life :).

Edit 1: A lot of people feel that I am trapped in this relationship. To all of them..No, I am not. I love this man a lot, I chose him, we worked through this relationship, through this marriage and stood tests of time.

Edit 2: Some people feel that I do not get space.. No. I have space, I have freedom and liberty. I am not oppressed.

M point was that when you are living with someone, you see the person all the time and sometimes, you need to get away from the physical space to think what really happened during a fight.. Being together makes it difficult as the person’s presence might constantly remind you of your fight..then disconnection and getting a real perspective becomes an issue. You can find your own way to vent/disconnect, like I found for myself.

We both work in different places, so it is easy for us to disconnect and think of what really happened.

I am firm believer of being together and not ending relationships in an impulse. I love my husband and have accepted him despite his shortcomings.

Make peace, live happily :) :).