【原声视界】Day 51 单身女青年防搭讪武器

7348

单身女青年防搭讪武器

Leave Me Alurn - SNL

【背景扩展】

当你想好好独享个人美好时光时，总会有些大猪蹄子来搭讪。这时候你只需亮出一个多功能“骨灰盒”便可让其通通烟消云散。短片由《了不起的麦瑟尔夫人》女主瑞秋·布罗斯纳安倾情代言，现在购买还赠送防咸猪手腰带，你心动了吗？

Traveling solo. It’s my favorite. I love exploring with no one to please but myself. But when you’re a woman, there is one very real danger. Unwanted small talk.

独自旅行，是我的最爱。我喜欢一个人去享受探索的快乐。但作为女性，你会面临这样一个真实的危险。无谓的闲聊/搭讪。

This view, right? Reminds me of the episode of Twin Peaks Where The Girl Gets Murdered. Are you seeing anyone?

这景色真美，对吗？让我想起了《双峰》里女生被谋杀的那集。你现在有对象吗？

And having headphones in isn’t always enough to keep men I don’t know from talking to me.

戴着耳机也不足以拒绝不认识的男人跟我聊天。

You heard of Buddha?

你听说过菩萨吗

That’s why wherever I go, I always pack this. Introducing “Leave Me Alurn”. “Leave Me Alurn” is a portable urn for women travelers to make men think you are about to scatter your dad or grandpa’s ashes in a meaningful place. So they back the hell up off.

所以不管去哪里，我都会带上它。为您介绍“别烦我”骨灰坛。“别烦我”是为女性旅行者定制的便携骨灰坛，让男士认为您要把父亲或祖父的骨灰撒到有意义的地方，从而对您退避三舍。

This was his favorite spot. It’s what he would have wanted.

这里是他原来最爱的地方。他的心愿就是葬在这儿

Oh, okay, so I didn’t realize I’m gonna let you… cause I didn’t know. Sorry.

好吧，我还不知道 我不打扰了。因为我不知道… 对不起

Confrontation avoided. Thanks, Leave Me Alurn.

成功免去冲突。谢谢你“别烦我”

You only take one vacation every seven years. So go ahead. Give them the urn. He always wanted to see the ocean. Better late than never, I guess.

你每七年才能放松休假一回。所以别怕，亮出你的骨灰坛吧。他一直想看看大海。我猜，至少现在还不算晚

I’m sorry. That’s a … I’m interrupting a little funeral. Forgive it.

抱歉，那是个… 我打扰人家葬礼了，对不起

Now he’s gone and I didn’t have to be a bitch about it.

现在他走了 我也不用开口抱怨

Thanks, Leave Me Alurn.

谢谢你“别烦我”

Leave Me Alurn is a conversation prophylactic that gives the impression that ashes could blow up to 50 feet away and that’s how far men will stay from you. And it’s not just a fake urn. It’s also a portable phone charger and it’s even a stainless steel water bottle.

“别烦我”是一件聊天回避用具，可以让人认为骨灰能飘到十五米之外，这也是男人将会与你保持的距离。它也不仅是一直假骨灰坛，同时还是便携式充电宝以及不锈钢水壶

Leave Me Alurn also works great back home for those little “just because I look friendly doesn’t mean I am friendly.” moments with boy strangers.

“别烦我”在城市中也同样实用。专为你解决与陌生男性之间“我看起来和善 不代表我们是朋友”的困扰

Is this seat taken? 

这里有人坐吗

It was. Brought him back for one last round.

本来有的。我带他来喝最后一杯酒

Never mind.

当我没问

Can I buy you ladies… come on!

我能请美女们… 拜托

Leave Me Alurn travelers kill small talk… dead. Call now, you’ll get a lower back spikes. Because there’s never a reason to touch a women’s lower back when walking past her. Like ever.

“别烦我”给女性的便携骨灰坛让无谓的搭讪死翘翘。现在来电购买你还能获得腰刺。因为你完全没有理由，在走过一位女性身边时触碰她的腰部。任何时候都是。

Excuse me. My hand!  

借过。啊，我的手！